Aftermath
by Lacey99
Summary: Past Paraguay.
1. Chapter 1

Aftermath

Chapter 1

_Where did the screaming come from? _

_She turns, and a face comes into view. Sadik Fahd's mouth is moving, but she can't make out what he's saying. The screaming starts again, but comes to an abrupt halt._

_She notices the knife in Sadik Fahd's hand. He stabs her fake pregnancy belly with force, as he laugh out loud. _

"_You're next." _

_She sees two men carry out Clayton Webb from the shed and she starts to run towards them. They dump Clayton Webb's body on the ground._

"_It's over for him!" Sadik yells after her. _

"_No!" She get on her knees in front of Webb. "Clay?" _

_The two men grab her arms and pull her to her feet. She's dragged towards the shed._

_Suddenly she's strapped to a table, Sadik standing over her. She's looking towards the door, expecting someone to walk inside to save her, but the only face she can see is Sadik's_

"_He won't come after you." _

_She's staring into his evil eyes, wondering why the story has changed. _

She sat up in bed and tried to breath. She was hyperventilating, and had to really concentrate to calm her breathing. She reached for the water bottle she always kept beside her bed and drank. She half emptied it.

For three weeks she'd had the same dream. Evey night she'd wake up feeling the same way. Terrible.

It was 05.33.

She decided to get up and start the day. She slowly got out of bed and walked to the bathroom. She stood in front of the mirror for a while, staring at the reflection of her self. She still hadn't gained the weight she'd lost in Paraguay, and if she didn't start taking better care of herself she would become skinny. She didn't like herself much as skinny, bones poking out everywhere. The way she'd been as a teenager.

She turned away from the mirror, reaching out to turn on the water in the shower. She stepped inside and let the warm water wash away the dream she'd had, if only the water really could have that power. At least she felt a little better.

JAG Headquarters

0700

LtCom Bud Roberts day started with coffee in the break room. He'd had a terrible night. Little A.J had been feeling bad most of the previous day, and around midnight he'd woken his parent's up because he'd started throwing up. He had a fever and he didn't look too good.

Bud had spent an hour cleaning vomit out of his son's room, removing bed clothing and put on new. At around 0300 this morning he had a new round of cleaning vomit, and again this morning before he left for work.

Bud looked up when he noticed someone's presence in the room.

"Morning Bud."

"Morning, ma'am."

Mac reached for a mug. "You look tired. Bud. The baby keepin' you awake?"

Bud wished it was the baby, and not the vomit. "A.J was up vomiting most of the night."

"Poor guy." Mac felt a sting of bad conscience. She hadn't been by to see her godson after she'd returned from Paraguay.

"Yeah." Bud agreed. "You look tired too, ma'am."

"Bad dream." Mac admitted. "Paraguay." She added, knowing that would save her from explaining any further.

"Have you talked to someone, ma'am?" Bud knew he couldn't ask questions about the Colonel's experiences last month, but at least he could give some advice.

"No." Mac said quietly, thinking of her best friend and how much she wished she could talk to him.

"Have you heard from the Commander?" Bud asked as if he'd just read her mind.

Mac shook her head sadly. "Not this week. And it's not Commander, it's Harm."

"It's an old habit I guess, hard to break." Bud hesitated. "Do you miss him?"

"More than I thought was possible." Mac felt like she was about to lose control and start crying. She hurried to change the subject. "I have an appointment soon. See you later, Bud."

"Yes, ma'am." Bud watched her go. "I miss him too." He added quietly to himself.

Porter Webb's house

Later that day

Mac rang the doorbell to the beautiful house where Clayton Webb's mother lived. She'd skipped lunch and driven out to see Mrs Webb instead.

The door opened. "Sarah?"

"Hi, Mrs Webb. How are you?"

"Come on in." Mrs Web stepped aside. "You should have called to let me know you were coming, I would have prepared lunch."

"It was an impulse, ma'am." Mac studied the older woman. She looked older than Mac remembered. "Are you okay?"

"Okay? Well, I don't know about that, but I'm dealing with everything as well as can be expected of someone who just lost a son." Mrs Porter led Mac into the living room. "Sit down, please."

Mac chose a chair by the window and looked outside at a spacious back yard. "You have a lovely home, Mrs Webb."

"Clayton was a lucky boy. He got to grow up loved and with endless opportunities." Mrs Webb got a sad expression on her face. "But he chose the company."

"He was good at it." Mac offered a sad smile. "But I guess that's a small comfort right now."

Mrs Webb nodded. She studied the sad looking younger woman. "You can't walk around feeling guilty, Sarah. It will mess you up completely."

"How do you get over someone dying to protect you?" Mac studied a picture of Clayton Webb sitting on a horse. He couldn't have been more than ten years old when the picture was taken. Mac had problems picturing Clay so young.

"You have to make peace with it. Tell me, have you spoken to someone, professionally, about your experiences in Paraguay?"

"No, I can't talk to strangers." Mac shrugged. "And I doubt that a psychiatrist could fix me."

"How about a close friend?"

Mac's mind went directly to Harm. "I can't talk to him."

Mrs Webb looked confused. "Then he isn't a very good friend, is he?"

"I can talk to him, but I can't locate him." Mac corrected. "He joined the CIA when we came back from Paraguay." Mac knew that Mrs Webb would connect the dots. She hat connections within the company, and probably knew all the details about the mission in Paraguay.

"Commander Rabb. I never pictured him as a company man, but I guess I was wrong."

"I'm worried about him, and I'm also the reason why he's not at JAG anymore." Mac admitted.

"Oh, I don't know about that. No one told him to go after you, it was his choice."

"That's what he said too." Mac was referring to a conversation she'd had with Harm before he went into CIA training.

"My advise to you is to do whatever you need to do to put this experience behind you, Sarah. I don't know what you need to do, only you know that, but whatever it is you must do it to be able to move on from this." Mrs Webb reached out and took Mac's hand in hers. "You're a strong woman, Sarah. That's why Clayton chose you for the mission."

Mac nodded, before she let go of Mrs Webb's hand and stood. "I better get going. I just wanted to make sure you were doing okay. Let me know if you need anything."

Mrs Webb stood as well. "Take care of yourself, Sarah."

"You too, Mrs Webb. And thank you."

Mac's apartment

Two days later

Friday night

She'd left another message on Harm's answering machine. She missed him so much, it was torture.

Their last conversation before he left came into her mind.

_Harm had just stepped inside her apartment. "I'm going away for a few weeks. Need some training before I can go on missions." _

_Mac closed the door and focused on him. "I'm so sorry, Harm." _

"_Mac, don't do this. It was my choice to come after you, and I'll never regret it. Think of it this way, now we don't work together, and we could figure out what we are?"_

_She felt the first tear escape her eye. "I don't want you to go." _

"_I'll be back." _

"_There's so much to say..."_

"_You'll have time to say it when I get back." He pulled her into his arms and hugged her close. "Take care of yourself." _

_She nodded into his shoulder. "You too." _

_He let her go. "See you when I get back." _

"_Yeah." She said with a shaky voice. _

Rethinking the situation she should have told him how much she needed him to stay. How much she was hurting, and needed him. She hadn't because that would have made her feel even more guilty, and she wouldn't have been able to deal with that.

A knock on the door interrupted her thinking.

Absentmindedly she opened without checking who it was. "Harm?"

He smiled warmly. "I'm leaving town this weekend. Pack a bag and join me."

She turned and walked towards her bedroom. "Give me ten minutes to pack."

To Be Continued...


	2. Chapter 2

Aftermath

Chapter 2

They had been driving for an hour before they had any real conversation. Harm had been studying her every time it felt safe for him to take his eyes off the road for a second or two. She looked tired, and as far as he could see she hadn't gained any of the weight she'd lost during her time in Paraguay. He was worried. She'd never told him what she'd been through before he came barging into the shed where she'd been strapped to a table, seconds from being tortured. He wished she would talk to him.

"So, how've you been?" He asked.

"Okay I guess." She said quietly, not wanting to let him in on her real feelings.

"You look skinny." He smiled as he added the next part. "Beautiful though."

This made her laugh. "Nice save."

He chuckled. "It's the truth. Are you eating?"

She nodded. "I am. It's just been busy at JAG, and I haven't... Well, it's... The truth is that I'm not doing that great."

"I can see that." He reached for her hand. "I'm sorry I left."

"Are you happy in the CIA?" Mac asked, instead of acknowledging what he'd said.

"I quit." He said calmly.

"What?"

"I'm not joining the CIA, Mac. It was a stupid idea to begin with." He took a right and continued on a smaller road. "There's a nice B&B here."

"Did something happen to change your mind?" She asked, ignoring the B&B comment.

"I originally signed on to be a company pilot, but they need field agents, and I'm not interested in that. I told them I'd think about it over the weekend, but I won't, I've already made up my mind." He drove up to a nice looking place. "The Village B&B." He said as he parked.

Mac felt relief knowing he wouldn't become a CIA agent, and offered a sincere smile. "Sounds good, but it's a B&B, Harm. Aren't you hungry now?"

"I know the owner, Ken. There's a full fridge waiting for us in the cabin by the lake. He did some shopping and prepared his family's private cabin for us."

Her smile widened. "You planned this?"

"Oh yeah, you bet." He opened the car door. "Follow me."

He led her down a path, and soon a cabin came into view. "Here we are."

She waited for him to open the door for her. "I talked to Porter Webb today." She said as she walked inside and looked around the spacious cabin.

"How is she?" Harm had walked to the fridge and opened it. "Ken's been doing some serious shopping."

"She's okay, I guess." Mac walked over to where he stood. "She said that I needed to stop feeling guilty."

"She's right, Mac." He closed the fridge. "Webb's mess cost him his life, you're just lucky you didn't lose yours."

"Maybe." She said quietly, not sure if she'd ever be able to let the feeling of guilt leave her. "Webb died, you lost your job... I'm the only one who came out of the Paraguay mess without damage."

"I'm not sure I agree." He studied her with worry in his eyes. "You seem so troubled, Mac."

She nodded. "I keep having these dreams."

"Are dreams keeping you awake at night?" He studied her intensely, wondering how he could help her come to terms with what had happened.

"It's just one dream, and I've been having it ever since I came back." She admitted with frustration. "I keep re-living everything, except..."

He waited for her to continue, but when she didn't, and instead seemed to be miles away, he touched her shoulder lightly. "Except what?"

Her eyes met his. "You don't come after me. I always wake up just before he's about to torture me, but I know I'm going to die. I look into Sadik's eyes and I know I'm going to die, but the only thing I can think about is you, and how I left you."

"Mac, it's just a dream." He put a hand on her cheek. "You're okay."

"I don't feel okay." She pulled away from him. "And I hate feeling this way. This weak!" Anger was flaring in her eyes.

"Mac, you're not weak. It's perfectly normal to go through the feelings you are experiencing now, and it will take time to get everything back to normal. Just let me be there for you." He stepped closer to her again. "I'm not going anywhere."

She calmed down. "I'm sorry."

Harm knew she wasn't ready to talk to him so he decided to ease up the atmosphere in the cabin a little, he smiled and changed the subject. "I'll make you dinner."

"I'd like that." She let her shoulders down a little. "I can help."

"No, that's okay, you sit down and relax. Tell me about JAG. How's Bud and Harriet?" He started washing his hands. "I haven't had time to check in on them."

Mac found a bar stool by the counter that she sat down on. "Little A.J had the flu, but he's better now. Harriet is busy with the baby. He's a handful, really keeps them awake at night. Bud's been constantly tired lately, and I think he misses you. You should stop by them soon, it would really be good for him to talk to you."

"I'll let the CIA know that I won't be continuing my training on Monday, after that I've got nothing but time on my hand. I'll stop by Bud and Harriet sometime next week. I haven't even seen the newest member of the family. He's what? Two weeks old?"

Mac nodded. "Yes. A.J has been a little jealous after the baby came into the family, so make sure you give him just as much attention as Jimmy."

"Jimmy? Is that what they're calling him?"

Mac let out a chuckle. "James Kirk."

Harm let out a small laugh as well. "Does Harriet know who he's named after?"

"She figured it out."

They fell quiet for a while. Harm was busy preparing pasta, and Mac watched his every move, feeling so much better having him around.

"So, how's JAG?"

Mac hesitated. "It's empty." She finally admitted.

"Is that a dig at my size?" He joked.

She didn't smile. "I miss you."

He nodded. "I miss you too."

"The Admiral is grumpy, Sturgis and Bud aren't on the best of terms, I'm not completely myself at the moment... It's not the nicest place right now." Mac filled him in on the situation at JAG.

"The Admiral is mad at me." Harm let out a snort. "And I'm pissed at him."

Mac darkened. "Because of me."

"I don't regret resigning my commission to come after you, Mac, but he should have let me go. I can't forgive him for being so damn stubborn. What if you'd come home in a casket? It would have been all his fault."

Harm's tone was so cold Mac didn't recognize him anymore. "He couldn't send you after us, Harm. It was a CIA mission, it had nothing to do with JAG. He didn't know how serious the situation was, and he didn't know that the CIA had left us behind. I know you're angry, but don't be unfair."

"Unfair? I could have lost you, Mac." He snapped.

Mac stood abruptly. "I know how serious the situation was, Harm. But the Admiral didn't know. You had resigned, and he couldn't just take you back once the paperwork had been handled. It was all official then."

"I don't care about JAG, Mac, I care about you. He should have trusted me when I said that I needed to go after you."

"You made a choice, and he made a choice. We're all just going to have to live with that." She stepped closer to him. "You should know that the Admiral came to see me one night after I got back, and he said he was sorry. He said that if he knew what was really going on over there he'd come after me himself."

Harm looked away. "I didn't know that."

Mac continued. "He also regrets that he didn't grant you leave to go, Harm. It bothers him that he sent in your request for resignation and that it became official. You should talk to him, and maybe he can help you back."

"Maybe." He turned back to his cooking. "I'll think about it."

After dinner they went for a short walk by the water, before they ended up on the porch in front of the cabin.

"What will you do now?"

Harm shrugged. "I'll figure something out. With my trial experience there shouldn't be a problem getting something at a private firm."

"Do you want that?"

"The pay is good, I'd have more time for other things... It wouldn't be so bad." He smiled. "Maybe it's time I focus on something else rather than work."

"Such as?"

"Well, you told me that I'll only commit when you have one foot out the door. I traveled five thousand miles to bring you back to me, and I think that should mean something." He found her eyes with his.

"It depends on the reason you came after me?" She rebutted as she stared into his eyes.

"You know why." He reached for her hand. "Don't you?"

"I know that we're best friends. I know that you care about me." She looked at him with hopeful eyes, finally sure that he would tell her how he really felt.

"What you said about me only committing when you have one foot out the door. I swore to change that when you came back from that mission. So when I got the news that you were missing, and then this feeling that something horrible would happen to you, I knew that I had to find you to tell you how I really feel." He took a small break, before he continued. "With all that happened over there, mostly with Webb dying, I knew I had to wait until things calmed down before I could step up."

"And now?"

He swallowed nervously. "I love you Mac. I've never felt about anyone the way that I feel about you."

She moved closer to him and put her arms around his neck. "I really needed to hear you say that now. I love you too."

He leaned in and kissed her sweetly. "That's a relief. I don't know why it's takes us so long to admit that, because it's really not that scary."

She laughed softly. "I guess we just needed more time than most people."

"Yeah, I guess." He pulled her in for a hug.

They sat like that until the sun went down, just enjoying the silence and each other.

To Be Continued...


	3. Chapter 3

Aftermath

_Chapter 3_

_- Where does the screaming come from? _

_She turns, and a face comes into view. Sadik Fahd's mouth is moving, but she can't make out what he's saying. The screaming starts again, but come to an abrupt halt._

_She notices the knife in Sadik Fahd's hand. He stabs her fake pregnancy belly with force, as he laugh out loud. _

"_You're next." _

_She sees two men carry out Clayton Webb from the shed and she starts to run towards them. They dump Clayton Webb's body on the ground._

"_It's over for him!" Sadik yells after her. _

"_No!" She get on her knees in front of Webb. "Clay?" -_

"Mac!"

Someone was shaking her. "Harm?"

"Mac, wake up."

"Harm!" She said as she sat up in bed. She looked around the room and saw Harm staring at her with worry.

"Are you okay?" He reached out a hand and moved some of her hair behind her ear. "You were calling Clay's name."

"I'm sorry. It was the dream again." She rubbed her hands over her face. "You go back to sleep again, I just need some water." She said as she got out of bed.

"I can get that for you." He got out of bed as well, and followed her. "You should go back to bed."

"I wouldn't be able to sleep." She turned on the water and found a glass. She drank two full glasses before turning the water off and putting the glass down. "Sorry I woke you up."

"That's okay. Come back to bed with me, and we'll talk about this dream." He reached for her hand and led her back to the bedroom.

They got comfortable, before Mac started talking. "As I told you before, I keep re-living what happens, but in the dream you don't come after me. I know I'm going to die, and then I wake up."

"Have you talked to someone about this?" Harm asked carefully, knowing how Mac felt about psychiatrists.

"Are you and Mrs Webb comparing notes on me?" She asked teasingly and explained; "Mrs Webb asked me the same thing."

"I haven't talked to Mrs Webb since Clay's funeral. But Mac, asking for help isn't a sign of weakness." He put his arm around her and pulled her close.

"I'm talking to you, and that's all I need." She said stubbornly. "Can we just go back to sleep now?"

He nodded. "Sure, let's get some sleep. We'll continue this in the morning."

They snuggled together under the covers and Harm soon fell asleep. Mac however lay awake thinking.

The next morning Harm got up first and started preparing breakfast. He wanted to make sure that Mac got enough sleep and food while they were away. He had been wondering if he maybe could persuade her to take some leave and stay with him at the cabin for the next week. Maybe then he'd be able to help her through what she was dealing with.

"Morning." Mac stretched and yawned as she walked out of the bedroom.

"Morning beautiful." He walked over to meet her with a kiss. "Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah, when I finally fell asleep again I did." She walked over to the fridge and opened it. She reached for a water bottle. "I've been thinking." She said as she closed the fridge door. "The Admiral has offered me some leave..."

"Take it. We'll stay here this week." He hurried to say.

"Are you serious?" She smiled. "That would be great."

His smile matched hers. "Great."

"And an other thing. Thanks for last night. It was comforting to wake up and know that you were right next to me." She put the bottle on the bench and stepped closer to him.

He reached for her hand. "If we're doing this relationship thing, you should get used to having me next to you."

She nodded, her eyes sparkling. "I think I could get used to that."

"Good." He leaned in and kissed her.

"Breakfast?" Mac asked when the kiss ended.

"Yes, and coffee." He released her and reached for two mugs. Without asking her himself, he'd gotten what he wanted; more time with her away from everyday tasks. It made him feel all happy inside.

Later that night they were on the couch, both of them with a novel to read. They'd been hiking most of the day, and after a shower and dinner they'd decided to relax the rest of the night.

"What are you reading?" Harm asked.

She closed the book and focused on him. "The great Gatsby. You?"

"A Patricia Cornwell book." He held the book up so she could see. "It's the first one in the Scarpetta series. I remember you talking about it and I figured that I'd try it. It's pretty good."

"Yeah, I like them." Mac put the book down on the table. "I'm getting tired."

"Yeah, me too. Maybe we should call it a night." He put his own book on the table and prepared to stand. "You want to have the bathroom first?"

"Yeah, sure." She stood and walked toward the bathroom door. She stopped and turned back to him when she remembered something. "Hey, Harm."

He'd walked to the kitchen but when he heard her call he stepped into the living room again. "Yeah?"

"If we're staying next week, I need more clothes."

"Yeah, I know, me too. I have to drive back to the city Monday morning for my meeting at Langley, so I can pick up some stuff for you too? Or, if you want to, you could come with me?"

She thought about it. "If you don't mind, I'll stay here?"

"Do you trust me to go through your underwear?" He asked teasingly.

She chuckled softly. "Sure, just don't open the third drawer in the closet, that's were I keep my... You don't have to know about that." She turned around to walk into the bathroom.

"Where you keep what?" He was intrigued now.

"Oh, you know..." She let it hand and she turned to send him a sexy look. "My socks..."

"Your so..." Then he smiled. "Very funny, Mac."

"I'm a funny girl." She opened the bathroom door and slipped inside.

Harm let out a slow breath and shook his head. "Get your mind out of the gutter, harm." He said quietly to himself.

Mac was already in bed when Harm had finished up in the bathroom a little later. She was sitting up, her back against a pillow staring at her hands.

"You okay?"

She didn't look at him. "They separated us. Clay was taken to the shed where Sadik tortured him right away, while I was kept in another shed with a captured missionary couple."

He got into bed as quiet as possible, scared that any move would scare her, and she'd stop talking.

"They were nice, but they figured out that I wasn't really pregnant and they told on me. Sadik came into the shed and stabbed my fake stomach, he was so angry. He took the couple outside and then he made me watch as he executed them both."

Harm saw that Mac was far away from the cabin, staring at the wall in front of her. He didn't speak, he just waited for her to continue.

"I asked Sadik why he'd shot them, and he told me that their church didn't pay the ransom money he'd demanded. Then he grabbed my arm and told me that there were Jesus and Judas, and that the couple had followed the wrong example. He dragged me back to the shed and told one of his men to make sure I behaved. I spent three hours and twenty four minutes listening to Clay's screaming, having my guard tell me over and over again in Farsi that I'd be next. Of course I pretended that I didn't understand him. I'd promised Clay that no matter what happened I wouldn't blow our cover."

She was quiet for a moment, and Harm wondered if she was done talking.

"At some point, just after Clay stopped screaming and I was sure he was dead, my guard started behaving differently. He called me a whore, and grabbed my arm. He put down his rifle and pushed me down on an old mattress on the floor."

Harm forgot how to breath, and he wasn't sure he wanted her to go on.

"I got him killed."

Harm was confused. "What do you mean?"

For the first time since she'd started talking she looked at him. "Sadik shot him."

"Did he..." He couldn't finish the question.

"I kicked him in the face, broke his nose, then I took his rifle and I think I would have killed him if Sadik and three armed men hadn't come. I had four guns pointing at my head and I threw the weapon on the floor. I told Sadik that I was just defending myself against a rapist, and he shifted his gun so that he was pointing it at the guards head and fired."

"Honor among thieves." Harm mumbled.

"Something like that." She stared at the wall. "That was when Sadik told me that Clay hadn't been willing to talk, so it was my turn. I felt so stupid. Why didn't I just let them shoot me?" She faced him again. "I was already sure that Clay was dead and that I would be the next to face the torture shed, so why didn't I just let them shoot me?"

"I'm glad you didn't." Was all Harm could say.

"I guess." She turned away from him again. "I'm glad you came when you did, Harm."

He reached for her hand. "If I'd come there too late, I don't think I could have lived on."

She started playing with his hand, tracing a scar he'd gotten falling off his bike as a kid. "You've lost people before, Harm. Why am I so different?"

He took better hold of her hand and pulled her close to him. "I just can't picture my life without you in it. And I know it sounds like a cliché, but it's the truth." He embraced her softly.

She relaxed against him, feeling safe and loved. "You know, despite all the horrible memories from Paraguay, I'm grateful to be alive. I don't want to waste another moment."

"What do you mean?"

She turned her head to look at him. "Life is too short. I'm going to embrace the opportunity to create something great out of life."

He knew it wasn't the time to joke, but he just couldn't help himself. "Are you going to break into a song next, or..?"

Her mouth found his, she kissed him with everything she had. He was surprised for a second, remembering they're talk the night before. They'd agreed not to rush into anything too soon.

Noticing his hesitation she pulled away a little. "Make love to me, Harm."

He didn't need more convincing than that, so he leaned in to kiss her.

To Be Continued...


	4. Chapter 4

Aftermath

Chapter 4

Mac stretched her legs out on the couch and relaxed against the cushions. She smiled as she watched Harm walk around the kitchen, humming on a tune. He was preparing their last dinner at the cabin. It would be their last night there before they had to get back to reality.

The week had been wonderful, and she wondered how getting back to everyday life would affect their newfound relationship.

"What are you thinking about?"

She noticed that Harm was standing right in front of the couch studying her with curiosity.

"Getting back to everyday life." She admitted.

"Ah that." He sat down beside her. "Well, for one thing you won't be able to sit on the couch all day." He teased.

"Funny." She poked him in the stomach with her foot.

He took a hold of her foot and smiled. "Don't you poke me Mackenzie." He pushed her feet away and lay down beside her. "I'm going to have a talk with Admiral Chegwidden."

She whipped her head around to look at him so fast it hurt. She'd mentioned it to him throughout the week, with him only mumbling something she couldn't understand before he'd started talking about something entirely different.

"Don't look so surprised, I never said that I never would talk to him." He started playing with a lock of her hair. "I'm going to beg my way into the Navy again."

"My guess is that you won't have to beg at all." She studied him with a thoughtful expression on her face.

"What are you thinking now?" He asked with curiosity.

"Well, if you're coming back to JAG, what will happen with you and me?" She wondered.

"Oh, I'm not coming back to JAG." He sat up and put his feet on the ground. "If the Admiral is willing to help me back..."

"Which he will be." Mac interrupted.

"If he helps me back, I'll be stationed somewhere else. We can't be under the same command now." He stood. "Dinner should be done now."

She stood as well and followed him to the kitchen. "So you don't want to come back to JAG?"

"There are other places for a Navy lawyer to be stationed, Mac." He reminded her.

"I guess." She didn't look as convinced as him.

One week later they were at Manderley, walking along the shore, looking over the ocean. It was windy, but the air was warm. The place had been Clayton Webb's hiding place, for when he just needed to get away from everything. Mrs Webb had had his ashes spread at the beach, and Mac had wanted to see the place. She wasn't totally comfortable with what had happened in Paraguay yet, and she feared that she never would be, but she felt better now than a week ago, and she knew that time would heal the wounds left by the mission. The dream didn't haunt her anymore, at least when she was asleep. She still thought about what had happened several times every day, but it didn't hurt as much as before.

Harm was, with the help of the Admiral, back in uniform again. He didn't want to admit it, but after his talk with Admiral Chegwidden he'd gained some of the respect he'd had for the older man. They'd come to an agreement, an understanding really.

"This is a nice place. I can understand why Webb felt so comfortable out here." Harm reached for Mac's hand.

"Yeah." She agreed with a smile. "How much money do the Webb's have anyway? This house, and the house Mrs Webb lives in is worth a fortune."

"Old money." Harm shrugged his shoulders. "Webb really didn't fit the rich kid stereotype, huh?"

"Not really. He was a good guy though. Even if he had his..."

"...moments?" Harm filled in when she hesitated.

She laughed softly. "Something like that."

They walked to the car and both turned to look over the ocean. "So, what now?" Harm wondered.

"We move on." Mac said with determination.

He nodded and kissed her sweetly. "How about we find something to eat before we drive back to the city?"

"Yeah, I'm starving."

Monday morning Harm parked his car on his usual spot outside JAG Headquarters, he entered the building as he'd done for years, he greeted everyone he passed with a good morning, just as he'd done every other morning. It was like he'd never left.

"You work here?"

Harm focused on the teenage boy beside him as he waited for the elevator.

"Yes."

"So you're a lawyer then? What's your rank?" The boy asked.

"Commander." Harm offered his hand. "Commander Harmon Rabb junior."

The boy took the offered hand. "I'm Jack Kensington. I'm late for a tour of this place."

"Hight School?" Harm asked.

"Yeah, it's a part of career week. Today it's this place, and some police office or something." The boy shrugged like he didn't care.

"Have you thought about what you want to do with your life?" Harm asked.

"Not really. As long as I'm far away from this shitty city, I don't care."

The elevator came and Harm stepped inside. The kid followed him. And the doors closed.

"I you want to get away, have a great career, experience new places, you should think about joining the Navy. I wanted to get away too when I was your age. Best thing I ever did was joining the Navy, got to be a pilot for a while, and now I'm here. And as a bonus, the uniform attracts a lot of women." Harm smiled as the doors opened.

"Yeah? You got a lot of women running after you?" The kid followed Harm out of the elevator.

"Just one." Harm's smile widened when he saw Mac approach him with what Harm assumed was Jack's class.

"That's my class." Jack said as his teacher approached him. "Sorry I'm late, I..."

"It's my fault." Harm cut in. "We started talking about the Navy as a career choice, and lost track of time."

"That's okay, we're just starting the tour." Mac said. "Everyone, this is Commander Rabb, he'll be your escort today."

Harm stared at her. "What? Me?"

"I've got court in ten minutes. Welcome back, Harm." She said with a cute smile as she started walking away.

"Was the Admiral smiling when he told you to give me this assignment?" He said before she could get too far away.

"Oh yeah." She waved her hand and left them.

Harm stared at the teenagers in front of him. "Well, I guess we'll start then. Follow me."

Later that day

Harm was in his office. He'd just finished his tour of JAG Headquarters and answered a million questions about the military in general. Even though he'd been less than happy to do it, he'd found it rather fulfilling. He couldn't really describe how happy he was to be back at JAG, and by charing his love for his work and for the military in general he'd realized how much he would have regretted it if he'd decided not to go back. Even though the Admiral had told Harm that the moment he put a ring on Mac's finger and they said I do, he would have to reassign one of them, Harm wasn't worried about the future. He wasn't going to propose to Mac just yet, but when he did and when they got married he'd be happy to change duty station as long as he had her.

There was a knock on his door and Petty Officer Coates came into view. "Commander. The Admiral would like to see you in the conference room."

Harm nodded. "I'll be right there, Coates." He stood and followed Coates towards the conference room, wondering what assignments the Admiral had for him now.

Coates opened the door and let him walk through it first.

"Welcome back!"

Harm was so surprised he just froze for a moment. In front of him all his friends and coworkers stood smiling.

"We missed you, sir." Harriet was the first one to speak. She stepped close to him and offered a hug, which he gladly accepted.

"Welcome back, sir." Bud offered his hand.

Harm shook the outstretched hand. "It's good to be back, Bud. Really good."

"Did you enjoy your first assignment, Commander?" The Admiral asked.

"Actually, sir, it wasn't so bad. It made me realize how much I missed this place." He smiled. "And I might have convinced some of the teenagers to pursue a career in the Navy."

"I thought you might." The Admiral smiled and offered his hand. "Welcome back, Harm."

"Thank you, sir." He shook the outstretched hand.

The door opened behind him, and everyone focused on the new arrivals. "Court ran late." Sturgis said.

"Did we miss cake?" Mac asked.

"Welcome back, Harm." Sturgis said and slapped Harm's shoulder in a friendly gesture.

"Thanks Sturgis." Harm turned to Mac. "There's cake?"

"I made cake, sir." Harriet said brightly, as she started cutting it and handing it out on plates.

Mac leaned in and hugged him. "Welcome back, Commander."

He hugged her back. "It's good to be back, Colonel."

They ended the hug and shared a sweet smile. "Now, let's have some of that cake." Harm said and turned to the rest of the people in the room. It was good to be back.

The End


End file.
